My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.

You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.

Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.

I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.