My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.

Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.