You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.

Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.