Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.

I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms.

The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.

Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.