If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

Headphone aren't big enough these days. Why not just throw a couple of stereo speakers in a full face motorcycle helmet.

Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.

Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.