I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.