I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time.
I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.
Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.
I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.