Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.

The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.

Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.