I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.

Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.