Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.

When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.