We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.

Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.