We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.

The rift between culture and pop-culture has never been greater.

You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.