We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.

The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.