The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.