If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.

You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.