Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.