I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.

If you love sleep, you'll really enjoy death.

Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.