Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.