Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

You forget how crazy people are in New York, all the people on the sidewalk. When you leave here, everyone's in their car. But I get back here - I just went to throw something in the garbage, and there was a guy in the garbage. And he wasn't looking in it; he is in it, looking out over 9th Ave like a fisherman.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.