When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.