Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.

Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

Another thing rappers, I admire your rebellious spirit, but materialism is a form of mental slavery. Slow down on the jewelry, pick up a book.

We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.

Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.