Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.

Comedy is rarely funny.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.

Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.