I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.