I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.
If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.
Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.