Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so hard.

Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?

Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.

Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.