I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.

I don't know if it's the economy, but finding work as a spiritual guru is really hard. Maybe I should grow my hair out.

The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.