People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.

Throwing up is natures way of saying you need to re-examine your idea of a good time.