My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.
Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.
Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.
Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.
Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.
MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.