No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.

Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.