If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.
Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.
The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.
Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.
Throwing up is natures way of saying you need to re-examine your idea of a good time.
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.