Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.

Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

A high percentage of vegan men look like lesbians.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.