Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.

Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms.

If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.

Comedy is rarely funny.

Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.