All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?