Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.

Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.

There must be 15 shows about people's jobs: 'Ice Road Trucker,' 'Axe Men,' 'Dirty Jobs.' Unemployment is so high, we're watching people work.

We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.