Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.

Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.