Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.

Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.