Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.

Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.