You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

A high percentage of vegan men look like lesbians.

Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.