Hanging out with women on a platonic level is like spending time with someone from Europe. It's not better or worse, but it is different.

Few things are more negative than thinking positive for no reason.

Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood.