I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

A high percentage of vegan men look like lesbians.

If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.