Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.
Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.