Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

Fear can be a great motivator, just not during foreplay.

We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?