Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.