When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.

Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.

The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.