Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Assassinating someone is another way of saying I care, just not in the way they'd want you to.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.