Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?