Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said southern and sassy, it's all good. Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.

Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.