Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

Sleep is over rated, then again so is being awake.

Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

No one understands the way I feel about things I don't understand.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.