Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.