Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Fake titties are inversely proportioned to their owners level of self esteem. This being said, part of me loves them.
Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.