Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.

The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.