Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.