TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.

It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.