I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.

Most people that commit to a life of celibacy weren't leaving that much on the table in the first place.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.