At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.

The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.