Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs.
Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.
Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.
You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.
I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.
I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs.