If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

The more I get to know people, the less I know about people.

You can't assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she's got herpes, I can't afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.