If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.

Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.