Saying, have a great work-out is like saying, I hope you pull something.

Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.

Comedy is rarely funny.

Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?