The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs.