The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic?

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.