Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.

A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?