Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

Comedy is rarely funny.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.