Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.

The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.