The man I want to be could easily beat me up.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.

Latin women enjoy being women more than other women.

You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.

If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

Comedy has been my way to reconcile with the world. I didn't really set out to do this, but comedy has served as my outlet to address my issues I have with this crazy world.

Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.