Sex sells, unless you're dehydrated in which case you'd be much more likely to purchase water.

Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs.

Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.

Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.